Every woman that has got issues with her boyfriend or husband is quick to express how disappointed they are in the way these men treat them in the relationship. Its easier for a woman in this position to point out how her partner was either spoiled or how his parents did a crapy job raising him. Well, i have got some news for you ladies. I bet when his parents and in this case his mother was raising him, it did not cross her mind everyday that he will one day become someone's husband. Most of our boyfriends, husbands and fiances are subconsciously living their lives today the way they saw it growing up. Its interesting to know that these men are treating you the way they saw their fathers treat their wives.
Have you ever been in public places where a son or any child talks to his/her own mother or treat her like garbage? Calling her names and hauling insults at her with no respect whats ever. I can certainly assure you that if this doesn't stop, he will be talking to his future wife the same way. I have seen most mothers including my own, when their sons abuse their wives, the mother will be the first one to defend her son. These mothers don't know that they contributed to most of this behavior. If you are letting your son treat you with disrespect, just know that you are creating an abusive generation to come. These little ones if not well guided and disciplined will one day turn into nightmare husbands and they will do the same to someone's daughter. Also remember, that daughter could well be your own daughter. All abusers have or had mothers just like you.
I know most of you are wondering what do i have to say about our girls in this situation? Well, that will be another topic to come and this today is about our little future husbands.
To those women right now in any abusive relationships, our boys are watching and learning how to treat a woman. Please do not think that you have already messed up. Its never too late to change things around you little by little. We all should do better when we know better. Trust me, the way your boyfriend, husband or fiance talks to you or treats you, the way he relates to you and handles you will impact how these little handsome boys of ours will probably treat his own partner in the future unless he recognizes this and makes some changes. I will also add that raising children that know how to respect themselves and others will in general have much happier lives due to less drama and conflict. So, let us do our sons and other people's daughters a favor hence creating a better world for all of us.
However, i totally understand that we as mothers, we are doing exactly what we know how to do and what we saw our mothers or women around us do. Most of us and don't know and don't have the skills to do different when it comes to our sons. But i believe everything can be learned or unlearned when we are determined to make a difference. There are so many resources that can help and direct you in this area. This should be considered as a battle. When soldiers are on a battle, its important for them to know what tactics and weapons their enemies are using in order to be able to fight them better. So now that we know that the little men we are raising will be husbands in the future, lets try and stop our daughters' pain and heartache in the future. And now that we know what it takes to raise an upright man, lets step into our roles as contributors of our world. And lets give our sons great skills of how to make a happy future.
Lets take pride in raising a better world for tomorrow. We can not only be victims and focus how the men in our lives are treating us but also be aware of the impact its making on our sons who are the future husbands. We are literary writing on our little boys slate of what they will possibly become.
By Kellen Natukunda Donnelly.
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