Yes, hurting people hurt people. I will start off by saying that there is no way and absolutely no way, any one who is emotionally healthy would have any desire or would be able to hurt another person in any way, shape or form. Only a hurting person would try to abuse another emotionally, mentally, verbally and physically. He/she would try to control, demean, disrespect, put you down, insult you, and be condescending towards you. Emotional healthy people build others. Unfortunately these people could be our parents, your spouses, other family members, friends and anyone close to you. The closer you are to the abuser the more damage they will do to you because their opinions matter to you more than your boss at work or any stranger on the street.
Some of us have lived a confused life wondering how can my mother or my father cause such pain to me? Or how can my partner or family member or a friend hurt me so bad yet they claim to love me?. They were and are supposed to love me. And some of us don't even want to allow ourselves to go to that place to believe that our loved ones are capable of hurting us. We are in denial or we don't want to betray them. And for some, its easier to go to that place for some other reason. But for others, you wont even go there because you don't want to give your abuser power. I am not here to assign blame but to start a healing process. The most important thing that I would like you to know is that since the beginning of time, no one ever looks at her/his parents as just people too. We all look at them as parents. Meaning they should have known better because they are our parents. But here is the thing, even though they are parents, they are still human beings. The fact is that they are also broken people who were probably hurting and confused when they had you and . They did all they knew how to. Just remember again hurting people hurt people. Your parents might not accept or understand that they were broken or operating in hurt, but the fact is that hurting people hurt people, period. Otherwise it does't make any sense that your child that you loved so very much and did everything you possibly could to be there for, claims that you hurt him/her.
Please understand that i am not trivializing or making excuses for what our parents did but i hope you understand why, and hopefully this will help you get answers for yourself and parent your children differently. Knowledge is power. I just want you all to know the cycle. This is where the healing begins. I call this process "taking your life and your power back". Most importantly, this does not mean that you have to hate the one that hurt you. Once you take your life and your power back, you will not have anger or hatred but you will love them in their brokenness because you understand. After all, you will be a healthy person that wont hurt others or yourself. Enjoy the journey. Remember too, we are living in a broken world and its your job and mine to mend it with love through and after the healing takes place. Someone say Amen to that.
No comments:
Post a Comment